Last December “The Girl,” decided, for her birthday she wanted to take her friends to “New Moon.” I really was not really caught up in the whole “Twilight” phenomenon. I rarely get caught in those kinds of things. I am a tech nerd and a craft-a-holic. I get more ramped out about new smart phones and what Martha Stewart is doing on TV.
Before the movie in the theater one of the girls decided everyone should be on the same page and watch “Twilight” on DVD first. I started to watch it and trailed off shortly. It really didn’t grab my interest. I have been poked at for being so, not with it. Everyone knows about, “Twilight.” Yeah, Yeah, Yeah. I have never been one of the cool kids so I am not worrying about it now.
So recently “The Girl,” brings home the “Twilight” book and drops it on the counter. She was poking me about her being about to read such a thick book in such a short amount of time. She was conning me into reading the book is what she was really doing. ”I can read a hundred pages tonight” yada, yada, yada. Well I took the bait.
Twilight in 2 days. I said, ”bring home the “New Moonie” book or whatever you call it. I will read it before you can even finish Twilight. ”
Ok so 2 nights about I read about 100 pages before “The Girl” cobbed it and took it up stairs. Then last night. I poked her every 5 minutes about going to bed just so I could get the book back. I pulled the mommy card. Hey I am entitled, once in awhile, to use my powers for my own good.
So I sat down and started to read. D was in the field. Being the beginning of farming season I figured I had until about 1AM before he would roll through the door wanting a little conservation and something I will call a farmer’s supper. Farmers supper occurs anytime between the time I feed the kids supper and 7 AM the next day.
So he eats we chat all the while I am actually trying to read this stupid book. At 2AM D has finished eating and chatting and heads to bed. ”Are you not coming.” ”Yeah I will be there just let me finish this chapter,”
which in turn meant I was going to finish the book.
I finish the book and I wonder where time has gone and I summarize the following in my practical brain.
Why in the hell would she want to go with beautiful, a future of damnation and consistently miserable rather than go with young and handsome making her happy all the time. She definitely needs therapy.
Next question where is social services this minor has appeared too many times in the ER. I think there is a major cover up going on by the chief of police.
Chief of police is obviously on crack. He is totally unaware that everyone he knows is lying to him about who they are. He must be just a figure head and taking bribes under the table to support his habit.
My guess is her sleep deprivation caused by werewolves, vampires and nightmares coupled with her consistent lack of being able to finish or start a meal will cause her downfall long before a vampire or a werewolf finishes her off.
And now my rant about the men. They are all a bunch of sick bastards who can’t find a real woman who is capable of standing on her own two feet without passing out every 5 minutes or hurling. Their overwhelming need to take care of this pathetic wuss to make themselves fell superior is also a series of sessions that any greedy psychotherapist could make a fortune on.
Now am screwed I am hooked on the Twilight Saga and I going to have to finish it. Even if the rest of them suck I will not feel complete unless I read them all. This is exactly why I don’t pick up books like this. I get obsessed even when they suck. Absolutely have to eventually finish movies, Twilight included, and books.
If you don’t hear from me in awhile I will be in “Forks” for the next few days
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